It's time to Banish the Geeks!

I wasn’t always like I am now. I was once like you, timid, reluctant to try for fear of wrecking the whole thing...I was 9!

I have been a computer guy for a number of years now and one thing always surprises me. Now don’t get me wrong I’m not so jaded that I can only be surprised by one thing. I’m talking about one thing when it comes to computers. Are you ready for it? Are you sure? Here it is. When it comes to computers people lose their minds. It doesn’t matter if they are captains of industry, brain surgeons, or engineers. Not one of them has any self confidence when it comes to any aspect of their computer. Even if they talk a big game just ask them to reconnect their wireless network and they will run to the phone to call their wife’s cousins husband in order to get it working.
Unfortunately this is where I would come in. I’m the guy who would get the call.My mother, my aunt, a friend of a friend, the hot chick at the checkout counter, any of them would call me at any time with some inane computer question. I’m not an ingrate so I was usually pleased to help my mother print her email or help my aunt clean her print head nozzles. What would get on my nerves is that people who I hardly knew would call me for free advice and for free programs and for help with various and sundry items that would cost them BIG money to have a professional fix.Worst of all I AM A PROFESSIONAL. Of course, I am a highly paid professional so while they want my expertise they want it for free because I’m a friendly (but somewhat bitter) guy. For some reason I guess I also come across as a guy who is not concerned about cash and would gladly help for free. Recently there has been a new phenomenon. These moochers (and I mean that with all due respect and affection) have been calling me to fix problems they now have after calling in the “Nerd Squad” or “Weenies on Site” or some other medium priced big box set up solution.
The scenario goes like this. I have worked the whole day and I am, in the words of Fred Flintstone, “bushed”. My boy is screaming to get my attention, the woman is telling me that dinner is almost ready (and using the tone that makes it clear I better get a move on) and the phone rings. I get the “don’t answer it” look from the woman, so of course I answer the phone. Who is it? Why it’s Abraham Lincoln’s second cousin from a previous marriage. He has just spent $1800 bucks on a new computer as well as $200 on a home networking setup but the “idiots” who set it up have screwed everything up. Of course I am not surprised (if you were paying attention you would know this) but I act shocked. Long story short can I tell them over the phone how to fix the whole thing, or if I’m lucky can they pay me to come over and fix the whole thing, and can I do it for less than the geeks who already ripped them off. Usually the situation ends up with me talking on the phone for 15 minutes while the woman stares daggers at me, then I end up going over to the premises late at night and fixing the offending machines. We all end up happy right? The woman gets me to the dinner table. The boy gets tucked into bed. Seamus O ’Lincoln gets his computer set up and I get enough money to buy beer.

All good right?

WRONG!